The Equality of Likeness

18 Apr

I need to put in writing something I say, on average, three times a day.  All I want in life is to like someone with the same amount of likeness that they like me.   Equality of likeness.   If I were to picket on Michigan Avenue, it would be for this cause.   I picture myself standing on the corner of Chicago and Michigan asking people if they’d take a stand for equality of likeness. 

Right now, there are a lot of > and < signs in my life.  Not enough =.  For example, I think I might like Brice, but he definitely likes me way more.  In another example, I really liked Dweeb but he didn’t like me as much I liked him.   But, I mean, come on Dweeb, really?  You can’t be unattractive and mean. 

As the world turns, so does the equality of likeness in each of my relationships.   And when you’re trying to date a bunch of people as am I, it is hard to find a perfect balance of likeness.  I think it’s just part of the harsh reality of getting to know someone.  How can you even tell how much likeness there is in the very beginning?  You just can’t. 

Chosh and I had made plans to hang out yesterday.   When I hadn’t heard from him by 6 pm I decided to throw in the towel and hang out with my girlfriend instead.   I can’t stand here waiting, you know?  But making dinner plans and then just not following through?  Kind of a blow to the ego.  Lack of stability if there was any sort of equality of likeness. 

After deleting his number, we went out downtown to a local bar, and I was annoyed.  Why does this keep happening to me?   My friend knew I needed some TLC, so we scouted for cute boys.  I found one I liked, she pointed at him and he promptly came over. 

ME:  Sorry, I just wanted to ask you if your name was Charlie

CHARLIE:  No. My name’s Mark, why? [With a very queer look on his face like I mistook him for someone else or we were really trying to point at the guy behind him from across the bar]” 

ME:  You look like a Charlie

CHARLIE:  My name’s Mark

Finally, after he realized I was messing with him, Charlie turned into a grade A, great catch.  Super funny, super cute, super witty.  Just super.   He actually meets all of the characteristics of My Perfect Man.  Please see them, listed here (in order of importance):

–          Sarcastic sense of humor

–          Ability to make fun of me

–          Genuine zest for my friends

–          Powerful business professional

–          Smiley, but not gooey

I can’t help but think there was something greater looking out for me yesterday, steering me away from Chosh and straight towards Charlie.  And I’d like to take this puppy out for a test drive.  I just hope he wants to sign up for some equality of likeness.


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